How to use Emotion Effectively -Part 1
We all want to be successful. For some, success means having
lot of money, for some it may be having
lot of property, for some it may be having a good secured job, for some it may be having an own business,
for some it may be having good health,
for some it may be having good family and friends and so on and so
forth. Success is purely subjective. But I came across a very meaningful
definition of success in one of the articles and it said that "Success is
a progressive realization of your dreams". I was really impressed with this
definition, particularly the word" progressive" , which means that
success must not be treated as a destination and it is always progressive, as in, it is an
ongoing process. I believe that it is always a journey and only when you enjoy
the journey, you will be happy and fulfilled in life. Otherwise every day you will
be bored, frustrated and waiting for the journey to end, without knowing that,
there is in fact, no destination as such in life.
So if life is a journey it is highly essential to make it
fun, enjoyable and fulfilling.
I think that to lead a life of fulfilment is the key. Success without fulfilment will be not be a
complete life. There will always be a sense of vacuum, if you do not attain
fulfilment.
Now I would like to ask you some questions:
Why do we want money?
Why do we want wealth?
Why do we want to own property?
Why do we want have good family life?
Why do we want to have our own business?
The answer to all the above questions can be summed up in
just two words and any guesses what it is?.........
The answer is " feel good" or “feel happy”. If you
look at it, it eventually boils down to our emotions and more so positive
emotions. Unless our emotions are not fulfilled we will always feel a sense of
vacuum. Something seems to be missing. So now, let us understand what are
emotions and how we can utilize it for our well-being, rather than allowing it,
to overwhelm us.
I consider that every emotion as an indicator or a signal
which is trying to tell us something. Now let us consider an emotion which we
label as negative. For instance let us take anger .Now firstly what is the
emotion of anger. I consider it to be a state of a response to a particular
situation in our mind, which is exhibited through our body. In fact each and
every emotion is a response to a situation, which is first created in the mind
and instantly exhibited through the body. Now coming back to the emotion of
anger, let us first analyse what exactly happens when a person is angry. Whenever
a person is angry, the response is usually shouting or speaking very loudly,
speaking very fast , eyes usually become red, may sometimes hit a person or
throw things, breathing pattern becomes faster than normal and also the body
may shiver depending on the intensity of anger etc. In the worst scenario, may
even kill another person. These are all the symptoms of anger.
Now let us analyse, why this kind of response takes place in
the first place. Usually when we do not get what we want or to put it in simple
words, when the expectations are not met, it usually results in anger. Now is
there any way to pre-empt this emotion all together? I think it can be achieved
,but with lot of practice .
Now let us consider a trigger for the emotion of anger. Let
us say that you had expected your colleagues to appreciate you for the
contribution you had made towards the organization you worked for. But when
nobody appreciated or recognized your efforts, you began to get angry. So here
the trigger is expecting others to appreciate you or seeking validation from
others. The solution is once the trigger is known, immediately educate your
mind with a fact or principle that “ we can never demand respect or
appreciation from others”. Once this becomes your response for the trigger, you
need to keep responding in the similar manner over and over again, until it
becomes automated response. It is not just saying this response to yourself
mechanically, it must sink in our mind and believe that this a real fact. So,
the concept here is to interrupt the pattern which you were running prior to
this and instead of responding in the negative way, start to replace it with
the new found response. When this response is repeated over and over and over
again, then after a few times, it will go into auto pilot mode. So whenever you
think people are not appreciating you, instantly the response is “ we can never
demand respect or appreciation from others”. The key here is the repetition must be done
until the new response is implanted into your subconscious mind.
If we carefully analyse the above emotion of anger, it is a
signal or an indicator which is indicating us that something is wrong. Any
emotion for that matter always signals us . It is like a traffic signal. Red colour signal indicates us to stop and green
colour signal indicates to go forward
and amber colour signal indicates to get ready either to stop or to move
forward. Very similarly, each and every emotion in us, is indicating or
signalling us. It is asking us to take an action. It is as simple as that. Period!
Unfortunately, we have considered emotions as our enemies, particularly when it
is not favouring us. We usually get so involved with the emotions, that we
forget to take any action and rather we do not take any action and just keep
whining about it. The fact is every emotion
is telling us to take action quickly .The action may be mental or physical.
What I mean to say is, every emotion is asking us to either change our thought
process or change the way we do our actions physically. In the above case when
we are confronted with anger, the emotion is trying to convey us, to take
action mentally. That is it is signalling us to quickly change our way of
looking at things particularly when we are dealing with people.
Dinkar Jagadish Rao,
Certified First Degree Self Hynotist,
Certified Third Degree Reiki Master,
Personality Development Trainer,
For more details visit www.dynamitesolutions.in
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